Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thoughts On Blogging

I’ve been thinking about this blog a lot lately. About how it started, what I write about, who reads it and what purpose, if any, I want it to serve.

I started this blog in 2005 at the urging of a friend. I don’t think it was that she felt I had any special talent, just that she enjoyed doing it and thought I would too. She was right.

When I started out I only had two or three readers, one of which was my husband. I didn’t write about anything terribly important and other than those two or three people who read my words, I was anonymous.

I didn’t notice that my writing started to take on a very negative tone until Ian gently pointed it out to me. It was during a very stressful time at work and I was using this blog as a place to vent. I never mentioned names but it was full of frustration and anger. After a lot of thought, I realized he was right, so I deleted everything and started over.

I kept it light. I tried to be funny. I posted pictures of my beautiful family and encouraging verses or videos. I was just me being me.

Then I started to gain a bit of a following. Still small, but I started to get very excited. And flattered that people who weren’t related to me would be interested in what I had to say. I put a stat counter on my blog to track how many hits I got each day and I was shocked at how many visitors I had. My number of followers started increasing each week.

I think that’s when things started to change.

I started to feel more and more anxious about what to post next. Would it be funny enough to keep people’s interest? Would that topic be too controversial? Would those feelings offend someone? Our families and friends read this blog ... would they take issue with something I said? Would I come across as silly? Would I embarrass myself or my family?

I don’t want to think that way anymore. When you read this blog, I want you to really be reading me. What I think about, worry about, celebrate and wish for. I want to be real here. While you're here, I want you to feel like we're sitting across the table from each other at a coffee shop, just talking.

But I’m afraid.

Some of my opinions aren’t popular. Some of my longings aren’t realistic. Some of my hurts are just too private.

I want to try though. I want to get back to the way I blogged before. No pressure, just me being me, being silly and thoughtful and fun.

I don’t want to worry about how I come across. Not anymore. I want to use this blog for what I intended it to be – an outlet for me and a way to share a bit of myself with anyone who choses to read my ramblings.

At this very moment there are 47 people who openly follow this blog. According to my stat counter, I get between 60 and 100 visitors a day. That’s a far cry from the two or three that I started out with. I am grateful for each and every one of you and I am so flattered that you keep coming back to read what I have to say. Every single comment makes me so happy. I sincerely mean that.

Thank you.

So, that's it. I'm letting go of this self-imposed pressure and I'm just going to be myself. I hope that's ok with you.

:-)

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17 comments:

  1. I love it, when people decide to write what they TRULLY feel like letting out. It's therapeautic, it can also help someone else understand and know they are not alone on whatever it is your writting about.

    You gooo Kate be YOU, i am still going to love reading your blog always :)

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  2. I had a similar revelation recently and blogged about why. I think it is important to reflect every now and then and consider our direction. I can't wait to read more and know that it is authentic. Thank you for sharing!

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  3. Girl, get down wit your bad self! Here's the deal. I love ya and I'm going to read what you write regardless of what you say or if you're sunny or cloudy that day. You're my (*giggles*) friend, now! That means I'm here (following!) no matter what! Keep mucking up those cookies, and tell us how many times your adorable puppy got up last night and vent about that idiot driver who ran the red light. It's your blog. Though I speak for me, I'm sure other people would agree... it's not the BLOG I follow; I follow YOU. It's not WHAT you write that keeps me here, but it's YOUR VOICE that I enjoy.

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  4. (Kate) I love you no matter what you write!

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  5. Of course its ok with us! I cant wait to hear more from you. I love me some Kate :)

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  6. I haven't been here very long, but I've enjoyed reading what you have to say, both here and on the little blue bird. I hear you on the stresses of "Will it be ok? Is it funny enough? Will people care?" And you know what? We do. Because it's real. It's life. And it's good to know that others face the same crap we do! So, grab a chair and a cup of coffee, Ma'am, and chat away!

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  7. Hmmm I had a very similar post rattling around in my brain to compose today, if work will allow. Like the other have said, I'm here and here to stay. You don't always have to be witty and funny and cute. Be real and don't hold back.

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  8. Yay good for you! It is hard to be yourself! Good luck!

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  9. I started blogging at a really difficult period in my life because I thought that it would be therapeutic too, and although I have a loyal following of people who comment everyday, I sometimes wonder about the people who have only commented once, or in some cases never at all. This gave me the thought of why was I doing this? And I have had a few thoughts about just packing it all in, but then I really do have some followers who can identify with the things that I have gone through, so I decided to keep it a bit longer. But I really need a change of direction, and I am not quite sure of where this is going. It is hard to write about yourself, and I can identify with you on this.
    Thank you for bringing out what I was trying to say!
    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  10. I just made my way over here from the Pixel Perfect Community on Blog Frog. I really like your post. Good for you. I'm just starting out in the mom blog world, but my hope is to try to be honest and not think too much about what I post too. Oh, and I like your previous post about how your Golden is warming your feet...:-)

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  11. Just you is plenty good enough to keep me reading!

    And you brought a big old smile to my face tonight. I think of you every time I hear a good praise song and start to wiggle. ;-)

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  12. I think you put to words what a LOT of bloggers think at one point or another, or even MOST of the time.
    I just started blogging this summer, and it's hard to put yourself out there.
    This is a wonderful post (and the first I've read of your blog). I really enjoyed the insight and honesty.

    God Bless!

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  13. Don't we tell our kids to just be themselves? Why shouldn't we follow that same advice? You've found out what it feels like to be otherwise. I think you are on the right track...just be yourself, post what is in your heart, good or bad, pretty or ugly. Those who want to REALLY know you will keep reading...I know I will!

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  14. I'm one of the two or three from the beginning. I love how you've "grown" as a blogger. I love that you are so open and honest about your life here. It's very refreshing!

    HUGS

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  15. Don't we tell our kids to just be themselves? Why shouldn't we follow that same advice? You've found out what it feels like to be otherwise. I think you are on the right track...just be yourself, post what is in your heart, good or bad, pretty or ugly. Those who want to REALLY know you will keep reading...I know I will!

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